Sarah's Library

21/11 - Picked this up for free from allromanceebooks.com and while it wasn't too bad I'm still glad it was indeed free. The website included quite an extended excerpt on the book's page and that was the best part of the whole book, once you get past the excerpt it goes downhill pretty fast. The appearance of editing disappears (as if that excerpt was edited and nothing else) and the writing style became very simplistic. Lots of short sentences that started with he or she and repetition of words, like in this paragraph from location 124

'He watched her as she took the last child into the room and wondered how long she would stay in there this time. He knew they would never allow him into the room, so he would have to wait until she got hungry. He would get his chance then.'

That's a lot of uses of the words he and would, made worse by the way the Kindle formatting lined all those woulds up at the far left alignment, one after another.

I thought the idea was quite good, but it was let down by the writing and editing. If I thought the writing and editing was going to be better I could be enticed to read something else by Persaud, but not going to read another if there's a whisper of editing problems.